Oh Kurt Vonnegut, my awareness has gotten the best of me;

Laying in bed the other night thinking about reading..thinking about thinking..looking out my window at what would have been the beautiful remnants of the sunset if all the houses weren't in the way.
Then again I shouldn't complain, at least I can lay in bed and have such a view, half assed or not, it's still a view.

Man o man, if this is the most of my worries, I'd say I'm pretty well off sitting in my hollow boxed house that has more smaller hollow boxes in it, just like yours. However, I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for houses to cloud my horizon. Who thought it smart to group us ignorant humans together in a tight knit community and call them neighborhoods? What if i want to breathe? If this is the world's idea of how living should be with almost no other alternative, who said this is how I am to breathe?

Lord, let me BE one less ignorance to your company, let me have my perfect view minus the too quick to catch sunset for this horizon dances and dances only to be seen by the most careful and quickest of the eyes. At least make it last, I ask.
Amen.

Letter to my 10 year old self

So, you're in Honduras and you're not digging it so much. No hot running water, no dishwasher, or washing machine. Good thing you're 10 and easily amused because all you've got is bottle caps to flatten with rocks to play with like marbles. When it rains make paper boats to float in the puddles outside the front door and at night tap tap tap your fingers on your pillow along with the rain tap tap taping on the tin roof. On the hot days try wetting the sidewalk that runs along the 'pila' and rub soap all over it to slide on, that's the sidewalk for it. Make friends with all the geckos and ants that roam around your living quarters because those are the only friends you'll have that you wont have to speak Spanish to. Submerge yourself in the culture because one day you'll fall in love with this place through the memories you create here. Soak up all the poverty, soak up the religion, soak up the family, and soak up anything that catches your eye. I promise, you will thank me.